Finding My Voice As A Queer Southern Writer

As a writer, finding your voice can seem like one of the most difficult struggles. It doesn’t matter how old or how young you are; you’re always searching for the style and tone that is you. There are a lot of things wrapped up in your voice; it’s not something you can teach. It just develops.

When I started getting serious about writing over 20 years ago, I was floundering a bit. I wasn’t sure what to write about, and I didn’t know what my voice would sound like. I wrote about a lot of different things, but I mostly landed on Christian content, because I was heavily involved in a Christian church. That WAS my voice. One thing we need to remember is that our voice changes as we grow. It happens when you physically grow, and it happens when you grow as a writer.

There are so many different parts to your writing voice. For me, during that time, I was writing Christian content and doing well with it. That is where a lot of my struggle started. We should always try to be as authentic to ourselves as we can when writing. For me, at the time, I was doing a lot of memoir-style writing. The themes tended to focus on life and how we were able to make it through with God’s help. 

I thought I had found my voice. In a way, I did, I wasn’t lying, I did believe what I was writing. My writing and who I was were shaped by the church. So my writing fit the world I was a part of. During that time, I was vocal, whether on page or in front of the church, in speaking about how we treated members of the LGBT+ community. I was a part of that community, but I wasn’t able to express that openly. I was married to a woman and trying to hide that side of me. My voice wasn’t as authentic as it could have been.

That brings us to today. The last decade has been full of change for me. I’ve dealt with a lot of different things, from my health, mental health, to my sexuality. All of those things shape my voice. Which is why I have landed where I am now. I am a gay southern writer/author who wants to tell the stories of those who are a part of that southern culture. Many of us who are part of the LGBT+ community hold onto faith. Whether it be out of trauma or whether we still have a genuine love for God and the church. Many people don’t understand us. Many times, we don’t even understand ourselves. Besides all of those things, we need representation.

Maybe, if I had been able to read these things, even if they were fiction, I would have been able to work through what I was feeling. I needed to be able to feel seen. I needed to know that I wasn’t broken. I wish I had had access to literature back when I was a teenager, something that gave me a different view of the world besides the one I was trapped in. 

I was raised in the South, and South adjacent, my entire childhood. When I was 16, I moved to Alabama and I was there until I was in my mid 40s. I am a product of Southern culture. I was steeped in it. I know what its like to feel torn between who you are and what is expected of you. I’m sure it doesn’t exist only inside of Southern culture. But my voice represents those who have felt the weight of their Southern ancestors pushing them toward towing the line.

Now that I’m free to write with my true, authentic voice, I can get to work. It took me almost 50 years to get to this place, but even that comes with its reasons. There are thousands more like me, still in hiding, and thousands more trying to decide if hiding is the best thing for them. And with everything going on now, my time to speak has come.

I am a Queer, Southern, Writer.